Nigerian Online Dating: I’m too shy to sign up
TT: I want to be a part of this but d thought of signing up actually makes me sad. Dnt knw if ds makes any sense.
I gues exploring ds medium mks me feel embarassd nd smwot desperate. Like shouldnt fate work its course nd tns hapn naturally.
I’m curious to knw if u did any research on d perceptions of bth sexes to online dating in d nigerian context and how pple fl about it
RDC: Thank you for being open and honest about this. And thank you for trusting me enough to share it.
The truth is I felt the exact same way too. I used to see online dating as desperation and I told myself if I was good enough, why would I ever need any ‘help’ with finding a spouse.
During my masters in Birmingham, after a long term relationship that I felt was leading to marriage had just ended, I signed up to an online dating site and it was there I realised the power of a large(er) social circle
I went for eHarmony because I knew that the founder was a pastor and the company was established on godly principles. I met several wonderful people and formed awesome friendships and even though I did not meet my wife online some of the things I learnt helped me develop the skills that keeps our marriage beautiful. For example I was able to learn the difference between being compatible with someone and being attracted to someone (more on this later)
To your question about surveys, yes we did a few surveys trying to sample the opinion of Nigerians on finding love online. Surprisingly, over 80% of those we polled were happy to meet thier partner online, but only about 40% of that number would be willing to tell others that they met online. More than 90% were happy to meet a partner on social media.
I feel that this discrepancy is because as a community we still hold the notion that if one was beautiful enough or worthy enough, a spouse would appear and whisk them away into the sunset.
In reality however, the truth is we can only marry people we have gotten a chance to meet, and meeting people these days is becoming harder and harder. All #SuruLereLove seeks to do is expand the social circles of our users and help introduce people who would ordinarily never get a chance to meet.
By Dr. Craig
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